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Celestial Reviews 137 - Nov 23, 1996 (1/1)
Note: I feel compelled to remind readers once in a while to consider
sending a note to the author of a story you like. These people write
these stories for no profit that I know of. They write for their own
pleasure and for yours, and I know for certain that most of them like to
get feedback from their readers. An occasional note from you can go a
long way toward keeping the good stories coming <g>.
Second Note: Somebody has been posting an "alarm" that there's a
detective lurking out there, looking for people in our newsgroup who are
trying to molest innocent children. Here's my two-cents worth. If that's
what the detective is really doing, then God bless him and his work! I
read recently that a man imprisoned for sex crimes has been posting on the
Internet detailed maps of where to find little girls to molest. That's
what scares ordinary people (and even me, sometimes) about the Internet.
Of course, if that pervert happens to correspond with a "little girl" that
turns out to be a hostile policeman, he has no way of knowing that over
the Internet; and so he stands a good chance of getting caught. So more
power to the cop! If the detective is somehow violating our rights, on
the other hand, I object. My presumption is that the police are required
to treat sex crimes on the Internet the same way they do elsewhere. This
means that they can arrest and harass only people who are committing
crimes, not people who are reading or writing fantasies. I cannot imagine
how the detective could bother anyone whose stories I have reviewed -
unless the author is doing something more than simply posting stories. My
hope is that while they're here, the detectives will manage to catch up on
some interesting reading as well.
- Celeste
"While You Were Out" by Deidre Ng (night of passion)
10, 10, 10
"Watching" by Alan Mathews (emerging adolescence &
romance) 10, 10, 10
"The (Fore)Skin Game" by J. Boswell (wife watching)
10, 8, 8
"Lunchtime!" by Dulcinea (quickie at the restaurant)
10, 10, 10
"The Party!" by Dulcinea (quickie at the party)
10, 10, 10
"Tina's Tale" by John Carter (sex slavery & humiliation)
9, 7, 4
"Goth'rotica" by Miss Lucy (spooky sex) 10, 10, 8
"A Night to Remember" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (college
sex) 10, 8, 8
"The Demon on My Shoulder" by R. Stephen Redick (wartime
sex) 10, 9, 9
"The Meeting" by Domn8me189 (bdsm) 6, 6, 4
"Who's the Boss" by Karl Bojahra (sitcom parody) 4, 4, 4
"An Evening At Home" by MountainTop (D&s) 10, 8, 4
"December Fantasy" by Mark Foster (quickie) 10, 10, 10
"Donna" by Unknown Author (masturbation) 10, 10, 10
* "Home Again" by Ann Douglas (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "The Ballad of Wrangler Jane" by Ann Douglas (Celebrity
sex in the American west) 9, 9, 9
* "Scarlett's Cove" by Ann Douglas (hot lesbian romance)
10, 10, 10
* "Reception" by Deirdre (ff sex at the wedding
reception) 10, 10, 10
* "Recommendation" by Deirdre (sex slavery &
housekeeping) 10, 10, 10
* "Retreat" by Deirdre (dominance & submission) 10, 9, 9
* "Reward" by Deirdre (sex slavery) 10, 8, 7
* "Rock" by Deirdre (exhibitionism) 10, 10, 10
* "Romance" by Deirdre (ff attraction) 10, 7, 5
* "Roommate" by Deirdre (dominance & bondage) 10, 8, 8
* "Run" by deirdre (I can't describe it - humor!) 10, 9, 8
* "Seat" by Deirdre (new life in an old flame) 10, 10, 10
* "Secretary" by Deirdre (ff preterition) 10, 8, 7
* "Shop" by Deirdre (reluctant exhibitionism) 10, 10, 10
* "Show" by Deirdre (anal sex) 10, 8, 8
* "Sight" by Deirdre (voyeurism) 10, 8, 7
* "Sitter" by Deirdre (varieties of bdsm) 10, 8, 7
* "Slave" by Deirdre (sex slavery) 10, 9, 9
* "Society" by Deirdre (sex slavery) 10, 10, 10
* "Spa" by Deirdre (bondage & anal sex) 10, 9, 9
* Repost of a previous review (because the story has recently
been reposted).
"While You Were Out" by Deidre Ng (Deidre Ng@aol.com). As you may have
hear by now, the bureaucrats at AOL erased all of the stories from the Ng
Sisters' web site. This is known in Catholic theology as a felix culpa.
Culpa (fault or sin), because it was a lousy thing to do. Felix (happy),
because the upshot is that Deidre is now reposting all of those stories,
which means that those of you who have not yet seen the entire Ng opus
will get your chance now.
In her e-mail message notifying me of our Redemption, Deidre said that she
actually started reading a.s.s, and told Tammy how pitiful it was, and how
"even they" could do better than most of the lame stories, and got their
first stories posted, just before I started reviewing. That means that
I'll have to write a few new reviews, but I'll also repost my old reviews
whenever I notice one of the stories reposted. I might add that this
newsgroup has come a long way since the first stories of the Ng Sisters.
Their stories still stand out as excellent, but they have a lot more
company nowadays.
This first repost takes the form of a message from Deidre on Tammy's
answering machine. Deidre speculates about what her sister is probably
doing instead of answering the machine and describes her own recent
experience at the St. Regis hotel, where after a long day Deidre's
boyfriend dropped by and lit up her life. The author describes the
foreplay and penetrations in intimate detail.
As an English teacher, I was most interested in the punctuation of this
sentence.
I started to beg for him to fuck me, just little
panting "fuck me, fuck me please"s.
How DOES one make plural a phrase that's in quotes when the item within
quotes is itself singular. As far as I know, the author got it right. I'm
going to defer further thought on this problem for one of those occasions
when my husband is trying to embarrass me by getting me turned on in
public and I need something really boring and insipid on which to
concentrate.
All I can say is that Tammy's answering machine takes a lot longer message
than mine does!
Ratings for "While You Were Out"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Watching" by Alan Mathews (alanmath@hotmail.com). I got lucky tonight.
No, not the way you think, although that happened too. I got lucky
because my lessons for the rest of the week have been so well prepared
over the years that I could afford to blow off about three hours reading
this story. Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
The boy and the girl first meet when the school bus breaks down and it
gets cold and they have to share his coat. She's 13 and he's 18, but
she's beautiful and he has a crush on her. They don't have sex. She
falls asleep in his arms, and he doesn't even masturbate. She kisses him
gently when she eventually gets off the bus. That's the kind of story
this is going to be. But the action picks up quickly. Circumstances
require Jenny to leave home; and since Alex happens to live alone most of
the time he takes her in. Soon we discover that sleeping together and
showering together leads to a certain level of intimacy. The sexual
activities come across as both innocent and sexy.
The story includes a genuine, interesting plot. This is a really sexy,
romantic story.
A minor problem is that the story contains numerous irritating errors.
For example, the author consistently uses "to" instead of "too." Dr.
Mathewson becomes Dr. Sampson a few paragraphs later. My advice to you is
to ignore the errors and just enjoy the story. It's excellent!
Ratings for "Watching"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The (Fore)Skin Game" by James Boswell. This is Another Hot Wife Tale.
The man and his wife have been happily married for ten years. When Mike
comes for a week-long visit, he brings with him his ten-inch, three-inch
in diameter, uncircumcised cock, the likes of which the wife has never
seen before. The husband eagerly shares his wife with his studly friend;
and, of course, the result is that (1) the husband and wife are more
deeply in love with each other than ever before and (2) they are looking
around for more studs to share with.
Ratings for "The (Fore)Skin Game"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Lunchtime!" by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com). Some people need to break
major taboos in order to get a thrill. They need to have anal sex with a
parent or sibling or at least torture a nun. For my part, this story is
taboo enough for me. The very idea of making my husband late for work by
seducing him at lunchtime is all the taboo I can handle right now. And
Dulcinea tells the story so nicely!
Ratings for "Lunchtime!"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Party" by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com). The officer's wife is bored
with the party. She slips away to the master bedroom and soon one of the
officers meets her there for a romantic romp before they rejoin the
others. Dulcinea's stories are simple and sweet, and sometimes that's
very nice.
Ratings for "The Party"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Tina's Tale" by John Carter (docs.dgsys.com). Tina is a sex slave. She
has a collar and a Master, and she is at first on display like a slab of
meat for strangers to kick around and treat as they wish. Eventually
people fuck her in really unpleasant ways, which she enjoys. As I have
said many times before, there are apparently sane and sensible people who
will enjoy this story more than I did. To me, it's like reading a story
about how a person eats some spoiled food, gets sick as hell, vomits, and
then asks for some more of the food. I know there are people who enjoy
being sick and vomiting; I just have trouble understanding their point of
view.
Ratings for "Tina's Tale"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Goth'rotica" by Miss Lucy (archer77@ix.netcom.com). Miss Lucy is an
Internet porn writer who gets hired to transcribe and rewrite notes for an
apparently maniac lesbian doctor who lives and works in a gothic mansion
that seems to be inhabited by gargoyles and other strange spirits who have
an interest in Miss Lucy. Her only confidante is the doctor's brother, a
defrocked priest who is a virgin except for a woman in Boston, the monster
in his bedroom, and now, of course, Miss Lucy herself, whom he uses as
bait to lure the gargoyle with two dicks into her cunt so that he can
capture it.
I'm not much of a fan of gothic horror stories. I enjoy looking at
gargoyles on buildings, but I have vaguely suspected that they are
imaginary creatures; and it has never occurred to me that any of them
would have two penises or that I might ever have sex with one of them. So
gothic horror fans may enjoy this story more than I did. It's very well
written, and the plot (which I won't further disclose to you) is highly
creative.
Ratings for "Goth'rotica"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"A Night to Remember" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (mohanraj@mills.edu). Three
college girls are lounging around telling Can-You-Top-This? stories about
their sexual exploits. Not all that much really happens. This is a weak
story for Mary Anne, but very good for most other authors.
Ratings for "A Night to Remember"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Demon on My Shoulder" by R. Stephen Redick (burrito@mc.net). This
story is confusing, but deliberately so. It describes the sexual
adventures of a couple of American soldiers with prostitutes in Vietnam.
The sex takes place in the midst of chaos and violence - probably pretty
much the way it often really happened. I am not an expert on war-zone
sex, but this seemed very realistic to me.
Ratings for "The Demon on My Shoulder"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Meeting" by Domn8me189 (Domn8me189@aol.com). The woman has talked to
the man on-line, and now she is meeting him for the first time. He pulls
a switchblade knife on her, makes her get into his car, requires her to
use the seat belt to secure herself for safety, and then begins to diddle
her with a dildo while she drives to a remote area to be raped. Actually,
it's not rape after all, but rather a fulfillment of a desire to be
dominated. Afterwards, the guy doesn't kill her or dump her on the
roadside; instead he makes an appointment to rape her again sometime at
her convenience. I found the grammar to be bad and the plot to be
simplistic. Apparently the author sponsors a whole newsletter for people
looking for more of this genre.
Ratings for "The Meeting"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Who's the Boss" by Karl Bojahra (karl_bojahra@bc.sympatico.ca). This
story ends with these words: "comment pleas? suggestions?" My comment is
that if this is the first attempt by a person who does not speak English
and has also not fully mastered his own language, then it's a good first
attempt. Otherwise, here are my suggestions: (1) The author should follow
at least some of the rules of English grammar. (2) When writing a parody,
the characters should in some respect resemble the characters in the work
being parodied. That means that Tony (usually spelled with a capital T)
and Angela should act like Tony and Angela in the TV sitcom. If this
author wants to become a real writer, he should read some of the excellent
parodies by Shelby Bush and Uncle Mike and try again.
Ratings for "Who's the Boss"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"An Evening At Home" by MountainTop (Topspace4@aol.com). The man is
spending an evening at home with his wife and another couple, describing
to them the beauties of the dominant/submissive relationship. To
demonstrate one of his points, he says to his wife, "Bedroom, strip, bed,
back, spread." Sure enough, the little lady gracefully and swiftly
carries her cute little ass into the bedroom, where they join her - her
arms and legs reaching for the four corners of the bed in the classic
spread-eagle position, her bra, apron, and thong removed, and eager to
please her Master. And so it goes.
This story presents a clear but not especially inspiring picture of
somebody's version of the ideal dominant/submissive relationship. I
myself am a freedom freak. I could be wrong, but I think the basic urge
of human nature is to be free and to want to be in control of one's own
fate. I'll grant that this is an unattainable ideal, and impossible
dream; but my husband and I have been able to achieve a free-spirited love
and sexuality that make us very happy people. As I have said many times
before, I don't see the point in wanting to be a toy at someone else's
disposal. I have assumed that societies do a good thing when they free
their slaves. I really do like it when my husband "dominates" me - and he
likes it when I do the same to him; but our domination does not involve
becoming mindlessly subservient to the other, which is what this story
portrays.
Estragon writes stories from a perspective opposite (or complementary) to
this one. Estragon writes about women dominating men. I don't agree with
Estragon's philosophy any more than I agree with this one. I personally
think that I demean myself if I demean my lover. However, Estragon writes
in such a way that I can see the point of the femdom policy she (?) is
promoting; in the case of the present story I cannot see the point.
Having said this, I'll add that I DO see the value in selfishness, which
is what I think this story is about. If I am always giving and never
taking, then I am depriving my husband of a chance to give. Ditto for
him. So there is a value in both of us being temporarily a "slave" to the
other. This story simply does not do a good job of presenting that notion
in a perspective that makes sense to me as a rational reader.
Again, I want to add that I am not totally anti-bdsm. In the last issue I
praised Ann Douglas for doing a good job of introducing bdsm activities
into "Sandy." The key difference is that Sandy came across as an
intelligent person who did things for a reason and happened to have tastes
that differed from my own.
My advice to submissives is to arise! You have nothing to lose but your
chains! I was in a bad mood when I wrote that last sentence. Actually, if
you are a submissive and like it that way, kiss your Master's asshole
(while it's oozing fecal matter, if possible), apologize humbly for
listening to Celeste, ask him to kick you in the head with a steel-plated
shoe, and then bring him to a roaring orgasm, if the preceding activities
have not already accomplished that. There! That's a much happier ending
to this review.
Ratings for "An Evening At Home"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer):4
"December Fantasy" by Mark Foster. Two lovers have stolen away for a quiet
lunch and are gazing out the window at a beautiful December day. They
decide that it might be OK to be a little late getting back to work. They
are eventually more than a little late, but they have had a delightful
time. This is well-written, hot, romantic sex.
Ratings for "December Fantasy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer):10
"Donna" by Unknown Author. This is another one of those THC reposts that
make it impossible to identify the actual author. Donna is a very prim
and proper lady who is nonetheless multiorgasmic and is having an affair
with the narrator. He discovers that she doesn't know how to masturbate,
and so he teaches her. The voyeurism of the lesson quickly gets the
instructor going himself, and so the action heats up. This is pretty good
stuff, especially when you consider that sometimes the person reading the
story may be doing a solo performance him/herself.
The story concludes with a recommendation that we watch for more stories
about the adventures of Donna. I'd like to know who this author is, so
that I can watch for more stories by him/her.
Ratings for "Donna"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer):10
* "Home Again" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). A.C. has come home to
visit his childhood haunts, and he meets Mary Austin, the 45-year-old
mother with a still great body who is the mother of Josh, one of A.C.
closest childhood friends. We eventually discover that she was also the
target of some of A.C.'s adolescent masturbation fantasies.
This author takes her time developing a plot. The first 2 parts (of 7)
are not exactly devoid of sex; we do learn that A.C. used to date Jenny
Wilson with whom he traded cherries on prom night and whose sister was
nicknamed Kleenex Karen because of her proclivity to fill the partial
vacuum in her bra with that product, and also that Josh's sister Dawn
Marie had fucked the whole football team before moving out of the family
domicile right after her 18th birthday. The author also lays a basis for
future sexual possibilities by letting us know that Mr. Austin is deceased
and that during his adolescence A.C. had once seen Mrs. Austin naked and
by arranging for A.C. to stay overnight while he waits for Josh to come
home in the morning. But in general A.C. and Mary just have dinner and
engage in interesting conversation.
So the author spends nearly 4 out of 7 parts with nothing more than
innuendo and build-up; but when the sex comes it's both tender and hot. I
love this kind of story. Read it yourself for the details.
I secretly wish that Ann Douglas would get somebody to proofread her
stories. She develops wonderful plots that give full personalities to
people having hot sex, and then she makes annoying mistakes that keep me
from giving her perfect ratings; and then I often have to decide whether
to let a imperfect story onto my Top 15 list for the month. I mean,
surely Ann knows the difference between a dinner and a diner and between
celibate and celebrate. The problem is that Ann knows what the words are
supposed to be, and so she probably skips right past them; and this is
just the sort of mistake that a spellcheck doesn't pick up. The solution
is to have one intelligent person go through the story before it gets
posted. Let this be a lesson to you.
Finally, a word of advice. It's nice to shower together before anal
intercourse, but the shower removes the natural lubricants from both
bodies; and so the penis is likely to be even drier than usual. The
problem of dry skin is compounded by the fact that a person's anal canal
does not produce natural lubrications for sexual intercourse, as the
vagina would. Using Vaseline to solve this problem is not a great idea,
because that product tends to seal off the body's natural lubricants, when
they do begin to flow. My own experience is that saliva is a better idea
than Vaseline at both the front and back door. By far the best solution
is a lubricant specifically designed for this purpose, such as K-Y jelly.
I guess this gives away part of the plot, doesn't it?
Ratings for "Home Again"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Ballad of Wrangler Jane" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). This
story is a parody of the F Troop television series that appears regularly
in syndication on American cable television. There's really not a lot of
sex in the story; the first two thirds are devoted to build-up and making
the characters compatible with the original series. I have never in my
life watched an entire episode of F Troop, so I don't know how well the
story works as a parody. Assuming the author's characterizations fit,
this is a pretty good story of the female heroine making love to an Indian
princess.
Ratings for "The Ballad of Wrangler Jane"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
(Continued in 2/2)
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Celestial Reviews 137 - Nov 23, 1996 (2/2)
(Continued from 1/1)
* "Scarlett's Cove" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). As I understand
it, Ann Douglas has become anxious about the possibilities of censorship
and related repression on the Internet and has withdrawn from posting her
stories with this newsgroup. I heard she has started her own newslist, to
which she circulates her stories, and so I thought she wasn't going to
post on a.s.s. anymore. Therefore, I was surprised to find this story in
the postings. I don't know how it got there, but I'm glad it did.
The story centers around the visit of two friends to a Caribbean Club Med
type resort that caters to lesbians and bisexuals. Although both women
are lesbians, they are not habitual lovers - just friends. After some
preliminary fun, Jeanette finds that Arlene has entered her into a sort of
charity bachelor auction - the other women will bid to have Jeanette for
their date for the evening. I think I have told you enough about the
story. It's a hot plot with hot sex. I might add that Jeanette is a high
school teacher and many of us often wish we could touch our favorite
students the way she does - but somebody might take that comment the wrong
way.
Ann writes many different kinds of stories, and I enjoy them all; but this
story is a good example of what Ann does best: an interesting and sexy
plot woven into an exotic environment embellished with accurate
information about varied cultures. In addition, the author enriches the
narrative with sexy flashbacks and side plots that heighten the tension
and allure of the main storyline.
As I have said many times before, although I suspect that all sensible
women would enjoy sexual activities like those described in this story, I
myself have never engaged in full genital lesbian or bisexual activity.
However, after reading this story, my defenses have begun to crumble. If
by some chance I would ever be bereaved of this wonderful guy that humps
me on demand like Mark Aster's studly hero and then found myself on an
exotic Caribbean island with a beautiful, rich former student who was
professing her love for me after purchasing me for an exorbitant price in
a charity auction - well, I might give it a thought. Hell, I think I'll
give it a thought right now!
I'm reminded of the words of my daughter, who every year proclaims that
"this is my best birthday ever." This is the best story ever by Ann
Douglas.
Ratings for "Scarlett's Cove"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* Deirdre-mania: As near as I can figure, there are at least two persons
frantically reposting all of Deirdre's stories. For my own part, I am
trying to keep up by posting 15-20 reviews of Deirdre's stories in each
issue of CR. On this festive occasion, I'm going to give you some
biographical background on this most prolific of a.s.s. authors. Let me
point out the Deirdre is a very private person; and I actually have no
direct information about her. Therefore, everything I say in the
following biographical sketch is either a shrewd inference or a pure
fabrication. You be the judge.
Although we have never met, sometimes I feel very close to Deirdre; and
this qualifies me as her biographer. I often think of her as the sister I
never had, sharing the bedroom that we never shared while we stayed awake
until the wee hours, discussing strategies for using the devices in the
basement we never had to sexually subjugate the mother we never had.
If I am right in my conjectures, Deirdre was born about 37 years ago in
either Muncie Indiana or Buffalo New York. She was loved by her parents
and got along well with everyone except her sister, whom she regarded
(with good reason) as a promiscuous slut. She was a very good student
through high school, but she remained inconspicuous, except for her
starring role on the school's losing volleyball team. In her real life
her friends even today refer to her by an ironic nickname that derives
from the fact that she could never spike the ball effectively - but why
would an outstanding setter care about that?
Deirdre attended college at either Wabash or Indiana University (if the
Muncie birth theory is correct) or at one of the excellent state colleges
in the New York system (if the Buffalo theory is correct). However, it is
my understanding that she eventually graduated from the University of
Texas, where she majored in journalism with a minor in education and where
she met her future husband, who has doted on her and to whom she has been
faithful for the past twelve years. Deirdre has two children, Bradley and
Stephanie - both born within wedlock, although there is a distinct
possibility that the latter was conceived as a result of sexual activity
in the doggie position rather than Roy's more preferred missionary
approach.
While she was in college, Deirdre took a course on Freudian psychology,
during which she wrote term papers on the Id and the Oedipal and Electra
complexes. Those are the only topics she still remembers from that
course, and that influence still shows in her erotic writing. Her other
favorite course was American Literature, which was taught by an elderly
professor who did his doctoral dissertation on e.e. cummings. Although
she was infatuated with the old guy, he was in fact a doddering fool; and
his only influence on Deirdre's writing can be found in her decision to
use the lower-case d as the first letter in her nom de plume.
Deirdre and Roy, now live with their two children and three cats in
Sulphur Springs, Texas, where she teaches fifth grade in a public school
and works part-time as the manager of a local fast-food restaurant
specializing in ice-cream desserts. The inspiration for most of her
stories comes from listening to conversations in the teachers' lounge and
from observations of all the lonely people who buy ice cream from her.
Of course, as far as this newsgroup is concerned, the most important of
Deirdre's characteristics is the fact there is reason to believe that she
is Sherwood Anderson reincarnated. Anderson's bizarre spirit has pervaded
her life and has influenced her reaction to the Freudian psychology
course, to her marriage, to the mysterious hand fondling her ass when she
rode the elevator in Chicago, and to most of the other events in her life.
However, although Anderson was resented and actively hated by the
citizens of Clyde, Deirdre is quite popular in Sulphur Springs - mostly
because she has had the good sense to remain anonymous.
The second most important influence on Deirdre's literary life was a
beautiful, vibrant, and intelligent high school English teacher, who
turned her on to literature and inspired Deirdre with an insatiable urge
to do likewise to others through her own writing.
Like Anderson, Deirdre is a Virgo; but this is not really an important
fact, since most Virgos don't put much stock in horoscopes anyway.
Deirdre selected her pseudonym in honor of Deirdre Bair, the biographer of
Samuel Becket (who strongly influenced her writing style) and of Simone de
Beauvoir (who influenced her feminist attitudes, which are seldom apparent
in her erotic writings).
There has been a certain amount of speculation in this biographical
sketch. But what the heck! Some of it might be true!
"Reception" by Deirdre. During the reception the maid-of-honor and the
bride go to the hotel room to refresh themselves. Before they went to the
room they had never felt or shown any attraction toward each other. When
they return to the reception, this is no longer true. All I can do is
repeat: Deirdre is the Sherwood Anderson of a.s.s.
Ratings for "Reception"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Recommendation" by Deirdre. Joan has a spotless house, which is the envy
of her friend. This friend decides to hire the same cleaning girl. At
the end of the first paragraph I have figured out the plot of the story:
the cleaning girl has turned Joan into a sex slave and now forces Joan to
clean her own house in return for being allowed to lick the cleaning
girl's cunt. The cleaning girl will impose the same conditions on the
friend.
I was pretty close! Note quite, but close enough. Even if you know all
this ahead of time, I think you'll still enjoy the story.
Ratings for "Recommendation"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Retreat" by Deirdre. The man and his wife were hiking in a secluded
area, when they were surprised to see a group of women hikers. I reread
this part carefully. Nope, the hikers were not naked; every one of them
was wearing shorts and sneakers. I checked the first lines of the story.
Yes, it was by Deirdre. I was confused. Why were these damsels walking
fully clothed through a forest in a Deirdre story? Why was no one
carrying a whip? How could they have anal intercourse with all those
clothes on? I surmised that maybe they were being forced to take a hike
fully clothed as a form of humiliation. I decided to read on.
Aha! In the next paragraph there are fifty men standing naked in a
parking lot! Now the story makes sense. Behind each man is a woman with
a whip. As you have probably guessed by now, this was one of those
retreats that are so popular among yuppy lawyers - sort of a marriage
encounter group where the men get naked in the great outdoors and let
their significant other females beat and humiliate them. The woman likes
the idea so much that she promises her husband that she'll suck his cock
if he'll please go on the retreat with her. At this point I thought I had
the whole story figured out, but I was wrong: there were some interesting
twists in the plot yet to come.
Ratings for "Retreat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Reward" by Deirdre. What there is of this story is well written; there
just isn't much to it. The woman has the guy doing lots of things that he
wouldn't like to do in order to be allowed to have sex with her. She
apparently gets rewarded herself by the mysterious John. My parents
always told me I had to eat my spinach before I could have my dessert, but
Deirdre's lady manages to reverse this order effectively.
Ratings for "Reward"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Rock" by Deirdre. The man and his wife go for a walk deep into the
woods. He tells her to take off her clothes. She surprises herself by
agreeing and soon finds herself atop a huge rock with him licking her
cunt. As she starts really getting into it, she notices two college girls
watching in the distance. When she mentions them to her husband, he
suggests that she wave them over. Things get pretty hot, but maybe not in
exactly the way you would expect.
Ratings for "Rock"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Romance" by Deirdre. There really isn't enough here to call this a
story. Two women are checking out videotapes, and one rents a tape that
apparently involves a hot romance between two women. The narrator knows
that she herself is attracted to the other woman, and she interprets their
conversation about the tape as an innuendo that maybe the feeling is
reciprocal.
Ratings for "Romance"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Roommate" by Deirdre. A woman is visited by her college roommate, who
immediately strikes up a friendship with a couple who were her high school
friends. The woman wakes up in the middle of the night and finds the
roommate having sex with her mother. Almost immediately it escalates to
where the roommate is having anal sex with the mother while giving a hand
job to the woman; and then the high school friends come over and join the
festivities. What is striking about this story (as is the case with many
of Deirdre's tales) is that she makes such outrageous behaviors seem so
natural and plausible.
Ratings for "Roommate"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Run" by deirdre. Here's what happened. I had five new deirdre stories
on my hard disk, and I only wanted to review two of them. In addition to
writing these reviews and teaching English, I run and study karate. So I
decided to read "Run." I've always enjoyed fantasies about sex among
runners; and I once lived out a fantasy by running in front of some guy
and wiggling my ass to turn him on. I never even spoke to the guy, but
I'll bet he had the mother of all jock rashes by running with a raging
hard-on for about three miles. So "Run" was my choice for the second
story. Only this story is about a guy who is living with his sister who
makes him dress like a girl so that her married boyfriend will get turned
on by thinking they're being watched by a female voyeur, but the boyfriend
decides to screw the girl (who is really a guy) and the whole thing
develops into a group bdsm gangbang with the boyfriend's wife and friends.
Deirdre says that some of the things she writes about are just fantasies!
Really? I thought this story was hilarious. Deirdre writes in such a
way that I was constantly surprised by what happened next. I think people
will enjoy this story - even if they're not expecting a sensual trot in
the park, like I was. Jane Austen would not approve of this story.
Ratings for "Run"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Seat" by Deirdre. Dammit! I write a carefully prepared introductory
note, pointing out that my ratings have been too high and resolving to
really stick it to the authors from now on; and then I give three 10's in
a row to Deirdre. It's gotta be mind control! Why can't she just give me
orgasms or make me her sex slave? But no, she has to go out and write
three good stories that demand a 10 rating for each. Life really sucks
sometimes - but that's not all bad.
Anyway, after 14 years of marriage, the husband and wife in this story
seemed to have fallen into a rut. Brad told his wife she'd always say she
was tired and he got so discouraged being turned down that he stopped
asking. (Incidentally, when dogs are in a rut, it's a different thing.
The rut these people had fallen into is related to the English "route."
The animal activity is derived from the French word "ruit," which means
"roar." Just thought I'd mention that.) To break out of the rut, the
husband suggests that they vow to make love twice within the next week.
They keep the vow, and the wife enjoys it. She expects him to suggest
that they make this vow permanent; but instead he suggests a different
vow: that she promise to *initiate* sex twice within the next week.
So far this sounds like what a creative, competent marriage counselor
would suggest. But then things get out of control. Or do they? You'll
have to read the story to find out.
Ratings for "Seat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Secretary" by Deirdre. "Preterition" is a technique I learned about in a
college rhetoric class. It refers to the strategy of bringing information
into a conversation or debate by deliberately and obviously claiming to
omit it. For example, a man might say to his neighbor, "...and I'm not
even going to mention the time your wife gave me head while you thought
she was looking for her fork under the table at Delmonico's last week."
This story is a preterition of sorts: the narrator gives us a titillating
tale by telling us what she's not going to tell us. It's pretty
interesting!
Ratings for "Secretary"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Shop" by Deirdre. "You should always check out a bikini with the top off.
You might go to some European beach...." That's not a hormonally
imbalanced adolescent talking to his girlfriend. It's a saleslady talking
to the sweet young thing who has tried on a bikini that the customer
herself considers to be far too skimpy. The saleslady soon finds a ally
in the woman's shopping companion, who joins the discussion with, "Come
on; your husband would like to see you in that bikini, wouldn't he? And
with the top off too!" Soon a small crowd of consultants gathers, with
everyone encouraging her to remove the top. Our heroine is now teetering
on the edge of disaster: will she follow the prompting of these servants
of Satan and eat the apple or change back into her demure clothing and
retain her right to the Garden of Eden? I'm not telling! This bizarre,
surrealistic story shows Deirdre at her best. I've often had the same
dream, but for some reason Deirdre omitted the ferret.
Ratings for "Shop"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Show" by Deirdre. Here we have a game show that resembles Wheel of
Fortune, except that it depends entirely on chance - the players don't
have to know any words. Oh, and I forgot to mention that whenever a
player goes bankrupt, she gets screwed in the ass by her husband or his
proxy standing behind the booth. The story's emphasis is completely on
the humor; the sex isn't very vivid at all.
Ratings for "Show"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Sight" by Deirdre. The neighbor comments to the woman that her husband
must surely be great in bed. The woman concludes that maybe this sexy
neighbor has designs on her husband. Then she happens to see the neighbor
making passionate love to her boyfriend on the balcony. That's all there
is! This is a really hot descriptive passage, but it's not really a story
- it's just an excellent snippet that could become part of a really good
story.
Ratings for "Sight"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Sitter" by Deirdre. "Third Rock from the Sun" is a sitcom on American
network television about a group of aliens from outer space who have come
to earth and reside in human bodies but have trouble adapting to the
customs of our society. Sometimes I feel equally out of place reading a
Deirdre story; and I'm never really sure whether it's myself or her
characters who are out of step with reality. I guess the people in this
story would be considered either strange or dysfunctional, but those are
rather harsh labels. After all what harm is there in a blindfolded mother
fondling her blindfolded daughter while the girl eases herself onto the
cock of a neighbor bound spread eagle on a bed and the mother eases her
muff into his face? After all, they're all consenting adults. And why
would we be surprised or upset to notice that both women were chained to a
hook on the ceiling while they did this? And what young girl wouldn't be
at least a little excited to whip another naked young woman or to fondle
the breasts of the dominatrix while watching all this? I mean, it's not
as if these people are embezzling money from retirement communities or
creating mayhem on the highways.
What troubles me about Deirdre's stories is that I get ideas. I rarely
get sexually excited while reading the stories, but I start wondering
about things. Like that little old lady up the street. Maybe she's not
so lonely after all. Is she perhaps naked under her raincoat? Is that
really an umbrella in that bag or could it be a whip? Do those two old
men really drive her to church on Sunday? When the minister visits, why
is he always smiling? It gets worse. I saw Hillary Clinton on TV the
other day. She smiles a lot for no apparent reason. There's a basement
in the White House, and I'll bet there are hooks all over the place. And
handcuffs. And her husband sometimes really does seem subjected to some
sort of mind control. And then there's that attractive woman that's
married to Sadam Husein.... Deirdre really does make me think sometimes.
Ratings for "Sitter"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Slave" by Deirdre. Imagine this. You meet a female friend who is
accompanied by a very quiet woman. When you ask, who's your friend, she
replies, "She'