From the Twisted Primer A Movie Date By Will Somers, 2007 Codes: Mg, 1st, pett, parody Jill is invited to the movies by her new friends, but they don't show up. Thank goodness a nice man comes along to take her in.

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Jill was excited! Carolyn and Maureen invited her to a movie!

Jill liked Carolyn and Maureen. They wore the nicest clothes. They had parties all the time. Boys liked them.

Sometimes Carolyn and Maureen were mean. Jill was glad they were being nice to her.

She ran home to the apartment. The door was locked. Inside, she found a note.

It said, "I will be out late. Love, Mommy."

Jill was sad. She wanted to tell her mommy about the movie, and about Carolyn and Maureen.

Maybe her mommy had a date. She always talked about how much she liked to go on dates. Jill wanted to go on dates, too. It sounded like fun. But she was too young to go on dates.

Jill ate meatloaf for dinner. It was left over from yesterday.

Then she took off her school clothes. She put on a fresh, shiny pair of underpants. She put on a clean, white slip. She put on her second best dress. It was a pretty shade of blue. It matched her eyes.

Jill combed out her long, wavy blonde hair. She took four barrettes. She clipped them to her hair. Now her hair flowed past her ears and down her back.

Her daddy called it "a river of gold."

Jill missed her daddy. He was on a long trip.

Then she walked to the movie theater. It was a long walk.

A blue car drove by. It looked funny. It was very little. It looked like a big toy.

Jill liked that car.

Some days she saw it at recess. It was parked by the playground.

Some days she saw it at church.

She saw the little blue car drive by again! She wanted to wave at it.

Finally, she reached the movie theater. She looked for Carolyn and Maureen. They were not there. She waited outside.

The little blue car stopped near the movie theater. It parked. Jill saw a man inside. He just sat there.

Jill shivered with excitement. Was it her daddy? Did he come back from his long trip? Is this a surprise?

Jill stared at the little blue car.

The car door opened. A man stepped out of the car. Jill was disappointed. It was not her daddy.

The man walked up to her.

"Good evening, my dear," he said. "You look very pretty."

Jill blushed shyly and looked at the man's shoes. Nobody ever said that, except her daddy.

Then she stepped back. "I can't talk to strangers," she said.

"I am not a stranger, my dear. I am Mr. Jones. I know your mother. I go to your church. Your mother is not here."

"No, she is out late," Jill said.

"Where are your little friends? Are you going to a movie with them?"

Jill swallowed. Carolyn and Maureen weren't there. Did they just pretend to invite her? Were they just being mean?

Jill couldn't talk. She wanted to cry. She hugged herself and rocked back and forth. Sometimes that made her feel better.

"Would you like to go to a movie with me, my dear?" the man asked.

"Okay, Mr. Jones," Jill whispered.

"Very well. It will be like a date. A pretty girl like you should be on a date tonight."

That made Jill feel really special. She was going on a date! She tingled inside.

The man took her arm. He had hair on the back of his hand. It tickled the skin of her long, thin arm.

The man bought movie tickets and two boxes of popcorn. He took Jill to the back row.

Then he said, "I am sorry, my dear, but I forgot to buy drinks. Would you buy us some cokes?" He held out a whole dollar. Jill took the dollar carefully.

She bought two cokes. She walked back to her seat. The man was eating popcorn. The box sat on his lap.

The man held a funny little bottle. It was small, flat, and shiny.

He took a coke from Jill. He poured into it from the funny little bottle. Then he took the other coke. He poured into that one, too.

Jill asked, "What is that, Mr. Jones?"

"It is a special flavor treat," he said. "It makes the cokes taste better." The man took a sip. "Mmm, good!" he said.

Jill tasted her coke. It tasted like peppermint.

"Doesn't that taste good?" the man asked.

"Yes, sir," Jill said. She drank some more.

"Have some popcorn," the man said. Jill reached in the box. She ate some popocorn. Then she took some more.

The lights went out. The movie started. Jill sipped her coke. She ate popcorn.

The movie was strange. People danced around in their underwear. They kissed a lot. But Jill was on a date. It was fun. Carolyn and Maureen didn't go out on dates. Not yet.

She reached in for more popcorn. She felt something strange in the box. It felt like a big, thick finger!

"There is something in the popcorn," she whispered.

"Yes," the man said. "That is my pecker. It makes the popcorn taste better."

Jill wanted more popcorn. She reached into the box again. Her hand rubbed against the pecker. The man sighed happily.

The man took Jill's coke. "It is getting low," he said. He poured into it from his funny little bottle.

Jill sipped her coke. It tasted more like peppermint. She felt a little dizzy.

The popcorn box was almost empty.

Jill asked, "Mr. Jones, is there more popcorn?"

"Yes, my dear," he said. "But first you should rub my pecker."

Jill felt a little sleepy. She was confused. "Why?" she asked.

"Because this is a date," he said. "And it will make the popcorn taste better."

Jill reached in the box. She rubbed the pecker up and down. The popcorn butter made it a little slippery.

The man said, "Yes, my dear, that is very nice." His breathing got louder.

Jill was dizzy, but she wanted more popcorn. She rubbed and rubbed. Then the man gasped loudly. Jill felt goo squirt all over her hand.

She tried to take her hand out of the box. The man grabbed her wrist. "No, no, keep rubbing," he whispered.

Jill rubbed a little longer. The pecker was no longer sticking out like a big thumb. It felt limp and little.

Her hand was covered with something gooey!

"It's all gooey!" she whispered.

"That is my cream," the man explained. "It tastes very good with popcorn." Then he took out the other box. He poured popcorn into the first box. It stuck to gooey spots on Jill's hand.

Jill pulled out her hand and ate the popcorn. It tasted very salty.

The man asked, "Do you need my handkerchief?" He held up a small, white cloth.

"No," Jill said. She licked the goo off her hand.

Jill ate the rest of the popcorn. She drank her coke. Soon the movie was over. She felt very sleepy and dizzy.

"Would you like a ride home, my dear?" the man asked.

"Yes, thank you, Mr. Jones," the girl said. Jill was happy. This was just like a date! He was driving her home!

The man helped the girl stand up. He held her arm. They walked to his car. It was a very little car. There was no back seat.

They drove to the apartment. The man helped Jill up the stairs. Jill took out her key. The man unlocked the door and took her inside.

"I feel funny," the girl said. She sat on the sofa and laid back on the cushions.

"Let me help you get ready for bed," the man said.

The man sat her up. He unbuttoned her dress. He stood her up and slipped the dress off. She sat back down on the couch. She was just wearing her slip.

The man took off his pants and shirt. He was wearing nothing but a little pair of shorts.

Then Jill remembered. This is just like the movie! We are all in our underwear!

"Your slip is very pretty," the man said.

He was right. Jill loved the slip. It was vey silky. The neckline and shoulder straps were trimmed with satin ribbon and lacy accents. There were sharp little pleats along the hem. Sometimes people could get a peek at the pretty hem under her dress. She liked that.

The man lifted the pleated hem. "Your panties are very pretty, too. I like silky panties."

But the girl was very, very sleepy. She closed her eyes.

Then she felt hands moving her long, slim legs apart. She opened her eyes.

"Mr. Jones, what are you doing?" she asked. His shorts were on the floor. He had no clothes on at all.

Jill saw a big, thick, fleshy thing. It stuck out from between his legs. It looked very stiff and long.

"What is that?" she asked.

"That is a pecker, my dear," the man said.

"What are you doing?" the girl asked.

"This is part of a real date, my dear. Just close your eyes."

Jill closed her eyes. She felt hands stroke the skin inside her legs. She felt the hair of his legs tickle her skin. He was moving closer and closer. Her legs spread wider and wider.

The girl felt something funny on her panties. She opened her eyes again. The man's pecker was moving up and down between her legs. It was rubbing right on her panties!

She closed her eyes again. It was too hard to stay awake. She felt the pecker rubbing up and down. It moved faster and faster. The man breathed very loudly.

Then he cried, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"

Wet goo squirted all over her silky white panties. Goo dripped on her pretty slip. Little bits fell on her soft, white skin.

But Jill did not care. She was very happy. She went on a real date. Mr. Jones was really nice. Maybe they will go on a date again some time.

As Jill fell asleep on the sofa, she heard the apartment door close.

Notes for Parents and Teachers