The Stories Page of Father Ignatius

Chocolate-Covered Cheerleaders in the Skanky Boonies
(Mf+ choc snuff? <*>)
January, 2005

Okay, this one’s just for fun. Famously chocolate-loving Clitmeister Gary Jordan had a heart attack, and was putting up with some teasing on ASSD for being put on a chocolate-free diet. “On the other hand,” he said, “this might qualify as a ‘But what a way to go’ story. Chocolate covered cheerleaders…” And here we are …

Shake, Rattle and Roll
(MF <*>)
31st October 2002

An entry in the Alexis in Alaska “Story from an Elvis Lyric” Birthday Fest,
31st October 2002.

Well, get out to the kitchen, and rattle those pots and pans!
Get out to the kitchen, and rattle those pots and pans!
Well, I want my breakfast, 'cause I'm a hungry man.

Lingerie
(with Selena Jardine)
(MF rom <*>)
2002

The topic under discussion is “Lingerie: Is It Worth It?”

Blowing Off Betsy BJs
(M/F rom <*>)
March, 2002

A story in the Ruthie’s Club Betsy series.

Housewife 1946: Franschhoek
(M/F rom <*>)
February, 2002

A story in the Ruthie’s Club Housewife 1946 series.

Daddy’s Little Girl, Part II:
Bondage Daddy—Playing with Daddy’s Tools
(Mf inc oral anal tools <*>)
July, 2001

This story came out of how Katie McN ran the Hall of Fame Writing Game on ASSD during the summer of 2001. This game was part of the annual ASSTR celebrations and the idea was that each player should select an author from ASSTR’s Hall of Fame, and write a story in the manner of that author.

I didn’t have any strong views on who to pick, so I asked Katie to assign me to an available Hall-of-Famer. She, in the spirit of—as she herself put it, “sticking it to me”—picked Eros. Upon investigation, I discovered that he is an Australian famous for writing incest stories. I heard dark rumours that he stopped writing upon being imprisoned for those stories. Thanks a bunch, Katie.

Incest was a new departure for me. I eventually decided to write a sequel to one of Eros’s stories—Daddy’s Little Girl. It ends with the note To be continued… but, as far as I can discover, Eros himself never continued it. I called my sequel Bondage Daddy—Playing with Daddy’s Tools.

Note to Self:
(MF rom <*>)
June, 2001

An entry in the Dulcinea Memorial Writing Festival

Trimming the Sweetheart
(MF rom <*>)
May, 2001

An entry in the Dulcinea Memorial Writing Festival

The Lesbian Lolita
(BMWFwf bd bi interr reluc voy span nc 1st? <*>)
August 2000

The nurse has gone missing. When she turns up, she has a young friend in tow. A very good friend, it seems.

The first version of this story was written as a Write Club duel.

Expanding Julie’s Sexual Horizons
(MF oral anal toys voy <*>)
September 2000

Julie was a big, strong girl. Her sexual horizons seemed limited, however. What would a tactful suggestion bring forth?

The first version of this story was written as a Write Club duel.

“…The story describes the narrator’s sexual adventures and misadventures with the eponymous vixen, who initially likes to have sex pretty much her own way. As the title suggests, the narrator persuades her to expand her sexual horizons. And that’s where things go either awry or amok. The short way to describe this story is to say that it describes the application of Murphy’s Law to anal sex.” —Celeste, Celestial Reviews 370, 7th Oct 2000 Ratings Venus plot & character 10 Athena technical quality 10 Celeste appeal to reviewer 10

“This has got to be one of the funniest stories I have ever read, be it erotica or not. The guy in the story makes a casual comment to his girlfriend, Julie, and she decides that their sex life needs spicing up. Or rather, she decides she needs to expand her sexual horizons. From the time he arrives at her apartment door, his experiences prove that Murphy’s Law is still in effect and going strong. I can’t say any more about the story without giving too much away. If you’re in the mood for a good chuckle and some good writing, then read this story.” — Souvie, Souvie’s “O”s, 3rd Nov 2000

Ricksha Boy—Servicing the Tourist Industry
(M+F interr <*>)
March 2000

This story was inspired by recent discussions, apparently serious—between the South African Minister for Tourism, the South African Tourist Board and representatives of the commercial tourist industry in SOuthAfrica—on the subject of how the South African tourism industry should structure itself to take better advantage of the international sex tourism market. I am not making this up.

Sister Celia’s Damascus Road
(Mf, bd, <*>)
August 2000

A troubled novice at the nunnery finds her way back to a state of grace with brisk assistance from Father Nat.

The first version of this story was written as a Write Club duel.

Bang, Bang, You’re Dead
(MF <*>)
September 2000

Simon and Anna-Marie hated each other and had nothing in common except physical attraction. Or maybe not even that? An unfortunate aspect of modern-day life in Cape Town provided the answer.

Celestial Reviews 371, 14th Oct 2000

Convalescence
(MF bd exhib <*>)
September 2000

A long convalescence amongst the wrinklies after a serious illness can only lead to being badly overdue. When, and how, should such a convalescence end?

The first version of this story was written as a Write Club duel.

Full Facial—Cuckolding Captain Vanilla
(MF cheat bd <*>)
September 2000

A good geisha gives the client what is needed. This may not be what is requested.

The first version of this story was written as a Write Club duel.

Lifeguard-cum-Coach
(MF not water-sports <*>)
August 2000

Anna Kournikova in a Baywatch swimsuit. Well, there’s an image to overcook the brain, for a start. But nobody hits on the bombshell pool lifeguard ’cause she’s too damned gorgeous.

The first version of this story was written as a Write Club duel.

The Trouble with Penises
A Hallowe’en Story
(FF toys <*>)
October 2000

A loving husband will, in any case, go through a lot to select a suitable birthday present for his wife. When his wife’s birthday falls on Hallowe’en, though, a special effort is called for.

The first version of this story was written as a Write Club duel.

The Big Hopper of Father Ignatius

Doing Database Management on my Big Hopper

The Imprimatur of Father Ignatius

Some story sites recommended by Father Ignatius

• The Stories of DrSpin Update: DrSpin has shut down his ASSTR website and moved to Ruthie’s Club, where he is known as Neil Anthony.
• Alexis in Alaska
• Selena Jardine’s Garden
• The Ivory Gate of Jordan Shelbourne
• Gary’s Erotica
• Under the covers with Souvie
• Jimmy Hat’s Smut Writer on the Web
• The Stories of Virago Blue

—Nihil obstat—