"Ya better come inside when you're ready to 
 But no chance if ya don't wanna dance 
 You like four letter words when you're ready to 
 But then you won't 'cos you know that you can 

 You got it, but are you gettin' it?"
                                      -- Def Leppard

It's sexual abuse awareness month, don't you know? Monsters 
abound -- but then, so do Naiads, wars, deserts, hitchhikers, and
palindromes.

But what of Dragons?

 - Crimson

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The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only 
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the 
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author 
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the 
wind.

 - Crimson Dragon ([email protected])

/~Crimson_Dragon
http://members.tripod.com/~Dragon_Of_Crimson

Review Archives:
/~Crimson_Reviews

Thanks to Denny for checking over the reviews for obvious
bungles, though ultimately any errors herein are mine and mine 
alone.
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Story Summary:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Drafted -- Couture 
    (Sci Fi, No Sex)
    [10,1,10,9]

By the Road -- Naive 
    (M/F, Rom, flash-fic)
    [8,10,8,10]

Forward and Backward in White with Buckles -- Alexis S.
    (Palindrome Flash)
    [10,10,10,10]

Afraid -- Dryad
    (MF, high school, wartime)
    [10,10,10,10]

Desert -- Uther Pendragon
    (mf 1st hs)
    [10,10,10,10]

Female Plumbing Problem -- Vulgar Argot
    (MF, magic, softcore)
    [10,10,10,10]

Monsters -- Alexis S. 
    (MF rom tragedy)
    [10,10,10,10]

Reviews:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Drafted -- Couture 
    (Sci Fi, No Sex)

Story:
/~Couture/Drafted.htm
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2003/41477

Author's Site:
/~Couture/

It is a new world after the terrorists have managed to change the
society that considered itself free. Freedoms, one by one, fall to
the Gods of apathy. Our narrator is simply the latest victim of his
own apathy when a young, college-aged, girl comes knocking on his
door. What does she want? For him to become far less apathetic, of
course. Nothing like being drafted to change one's view on activism.

[ ... somehow shocked me somehow to {paralize} me. ]

"paralyze"

At least in the US. 

The "somehows" might be redundant.

This story is not meant to titillate, but rather is a strong
commentary on especially the American way of life. In that regard,
it is an excellent piece, though I suspect that the plot lines and
the commentary are heavily influenced by recent world events. And
while the story should appeal to all, I think it is aimed more
towards Americans than other parts of the this planet. I'm not sure
I was really in the mood for a story like this, but that doesn't
mean that it is a poor story. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Meaningful, and well executed. Simply not erotica, that's all.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :    1
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :    9

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By the Road -- Naive 
    (M/F, Rom, flash-fic)

Story:
/~naive/btr.html
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2003/41504

Author's Site:
/~naive/

While changing a flat tire, he meets a girl standing in the rain,
soaked to the skin, hitchhiking. He doesn't normally pick up
hitchhikers, but this time, in the rain, he makes an exception.  It
changes his life.

[ Hopping in out of the rain I found her asleep in the back seat. 
  Her face looked so serene, unlike those eyes I'd seen her staring 
  at me with before. ]

The first sentence needs a comma after the introductory phrase.  The
second sentence (and to a lesser degree in the first as well), there
are way, way, way too many prepositions. It makes it awkward to
read. Maybe try: Her eyes had stared at me with such life before;
now, her face looked serene, like a sleeping baby.  The concepts
need to be separated for clarity. It is almost always a bad sign
when prepositions collide.

Naive uses a different voice than we are used to. He uses sentence
fragments, and short sentences very effectively. In a way, it
reminds me of a certain Dragon's earlier writing, and how can I fail
to like that?

I liked the concentration on emotion, and feeling, and setting.  The
rain soaked girl, the gentleman's behaviour towards her, her
scepticism. It all merges into a very readable and enjoyable tale.
That's the important part. The rest comes with practice.

Technical       :    8
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :   10

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Forward and Backward in White with Buckles -- Alexis S.
    (Palindrome Flash)

Story:
/~Alexis_S/HIA_fabiwwb.htm
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2003/41537

Author's Site:
/~Alexis_S/

Palindrome: a word, verse, or sentence, or a number that reads the
same backward or forward.

Okay, I have no idea why, but this is cool. The palindromes with
which I'm more familiar are words, like, "radar" or "racecar"
(didn't know that was a palindrome, did ya?). Alexis has taken this
to a different level, and written a story around it. And I have no
other way to describe it. 'tis cool, and sexy, and eerie, all at the
same time.  And it tickles my brain.

Go read it.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

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Afraid -- Dryad
    (MF, high school, wartime)

Story:
/~Dryad/afraid.html
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2003/41601

Author's Site:
/~Dryad/

When Gary enlists, our narrator doesn't quite know how to feel.
Doesn't matter. She feels, and that feeling is fear. Fear for him.
Fear for her. Fear for everything. Fear can be a powerful motivator,
and our beautiful narrator makes some of the toughest decisions of
her young life. And that takes bravery of a different sort.

[ He seemed to expect it. Maybe {its} some sort of guy
  thing that I just can't understand. ]

Just a typo. Dryad gets it right everywhere else.

This story had an air of realism to it, and being a realistic
Dragon, I like that. I really felt that I knew Dryad's characters
here, and their emotion and their actions seemed to fit the plot. In
these times, perhaps such stories are even more important, but this
story would be good no matter what the outside world was doing.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Editorial Note:
    Dryad didn't code this story, nor is she required to. Story codes
    are only approximate, as generated by a half-asleep Dragon.

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Desert -- Uther Pendragon
    (mf 1st hs)

Story:
/~Uther_Pendragon/story/desert.htm

Author's Site:
/~Uther_Pendragon/index.htm

For some strange reason, this story reminded me of John Cougar's (or
had he already messed about with his name when he recorded it?)
song: "Jack and Diane."

Charlene has grown up. She's a cheerleader now, and she is going out
with Dave, a football star. This is their story, a curiously
passionless affair that showcases just how shallow we can be in high
school. In some ways, love is important to Charlene, but is it more
important than popularity?

In this, there is a note of realism. But I can't help wondering what
became of Peter. Peter was Charlene's old friend from the time
before she had developed breasts. Peter didn't really seem to fit
into the story, but perhaps he should have. There was opportunity to
contrast there that I think was wasted, but it doesn't really
matter. The story holds on its own, and I think the point comes
across. I guess our main characters, Charlene and Dave, got exactly
what they deserved.

A desert, indeed.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Female Plumbing Problem -- Vulgar Argot
    (MF, magic, softcore)

Story:
/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/plumbing.txt
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2003/41676

Author's Site:
/files/Authors/VulgarArgot/index.html

I had no idea what I was getting into with this. When I picked it up
from the news server, I guess I was expecting one of those rather
dull gynaecological/doctor/nurse stories that seem to be so popular.
Wrong.

You see, Chris is a software engineer, and a rather busy one at
that. Awful users. Long hours. You get the picture.

One night, after he's cancelled a date for the third time, he
returns home to find his water tap functioning oddly. And so, he
finds a wrench, and makes his way into the basement.  Finding the
clog, he loosens the pipe, but what he finds isn't exactly what he
was expecting. Instead of murky, brackish clog water, a naiad
appears forming from the water -- beautiful, naked, enticing, and
very lost. You might think that's all there is to it?  Chris bonking
a beautiful water naiad? Let me assure you that Vulgar Argot has
far, far more in store for us than such a simple plot.

[ "Are you a god?"

  Chris knew he should answer yes. He remembered what happened in
  Ghostbusters when the answer had been no. But ... ]

Nothing wrong with it. Having recently seen Bill Murray and the
crew, I have to give this the award for best line used in a story,
at least in so far as I read for these reviews.

[ ... wrapping his arms around her waist. Eventually, the {weigh} 
  caused her to stumble, falling to one knee. ]

Close. 'Weight'. Typo.

Vulgar has really written a rather unique story here. It's sexy.
It's fun. It effectively mixes a wonderful story, with a touch of
offbeat humour, great characters, and beautiful Eros.

So, don't let the title fool you. It is about as far from a
gynaecological examination as you'll get. But don't take my word for
it. Go read it yourself.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Monsters -- Alexis S. 
    (MF rom tragedy)

Story:
/~Alexis_S/HIA_monsters.htm
http://assm.asstr.org/Year2003/41672

Author's Site:
/~Alexis_S/

April is Sexual Abuse Awareness month, or something like that.
That's why Alexis has reposted this story. And I'm glad that she
did. It's appropriate. And I've been waiting patiently for a repost,
simply so I could review this story.

Charlotte arrives in Alaska in a blur, driving her vehicle into a
ditch. But when Robert arrives to help, he discovers a girl far more
banged up than a simple drive into a ditch was likely to produce.
And so begins their relationship, and our story.

This is not a happy story, but it is a story that needs to be told.
"Monsters" reveals a harsh and gritty reality of abuse -- one that
far too many people have to face, and only the strong survive.  This
story shows the harsh realities of sexual abuse that are often
glossed over around here in an attempt at titillation.  It isn't
pretty, but is it real.

The story focuses on Charlotte and her ordeal, in unusual clarity.
If we, as writers of erotica cannot explore such themes, then who
can? This isn't erotica, but it is a story that tackles related
themes that aren't explored enough in our desires to produce pure
titillation. The Eros score below doesn't reflect titillation in
this case -- this story really cannot be classed as 'erotica' in any
classic sense. Rather, the Eros score reflects a subtle beauty that
Alexis has managed to capture above and beyond the horrific subject
matter that she has tackled. As I've said before, Eros does not
equate with quantity of sex -- at least not in these reviews.

I felt for Charlotte, and I think that the images within will remain
with me for a long, long time, disturbing as they are.

If you are looking for a more typical BDSM story, where the lady of
the hour can only cry out to "Rape me, more!", then you ought to
look elsewhere -- but then again, maybe you shouldn't.

Well done, Alexis, especially considering the subject matter.
Sometimes we need to think.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

+-----------------------------------------------------------------------